Ladies and Gentlemen.....
Our mother and father had seven children starting with Joan, Edith, John and Susan. Then there is Anne and Ruth and me. Before long, the next generation came along with Rory, Stacie, Jennie, Michelle, Marnie, Sara, Jeffrey and Molly. A third and expanding generation of our ever growing family are Bradley, Brandon, John, Kyle & Katie and Marc, Justin & Adam, phew!
Each and everyone of us carry the traits of our Mother and Father so as we all walk forward in this life, I cannot help but look over my shoulder at the two of them, so different yet so much the same. God Bless you both........and thank you.
Ladies and Gentlemen.....
The Story of a Woman. She was born on January 25, 1927 to an unwed mother, who had a decision to make. In a choice of fight or flight, she flew. So the baby named Vivian went to live with her father's family in Springhill, a small coal mining town, and she was to take a place at the table and to find a place in the family. Her grandparents, Dan and Frannie Gillis were good hardworking and down to earth people. They had twelve children of their own, two girls and ten boys. Now that's a lot of coal mining mouths to feed. A spinster aunt, Francess would be Vivian's care-giver. It was made clear that this was not her mother. Despite the fact that the little girl was welcomed into the family she still felt alone, abandoned by a mother she would never know.
Now sitting down with a bunch of coal miners every evening for supper was quite an event. These people were from Scottish descent so they all knew what hard work was, as well as tragedy, how to swear, and how to drink, so it was never a dull moment. Still the little girl knew that she was different and that even though she loved them all, there had to be a better or different life for her. As a child she was active, as a teen, athletic, and a good athlete. Baseball not boys was her passion. Long and lanky, she could outrun all the boys and hit a ball farther and faster than nearly everyone else. Vivian had a nice personality and she was such a quick wit that one often waited with baited breath to see what she was going to come out with next. And then there was her singing voice, soft and sultry only adding to the loveliness that was young Vivian Gillis. Coal black hair against ivory skin, green eyes and a smile that lit up the room. She was in her own way quite beautiful.
After graduation she moved to Amherst where she worked as a hardware clerk at Douglass Hardware for eleven dollars a week. It was there she met a quiet and handsome man, Bert Canton, and she fell in love not quite expecting to. He was from a large family of respectable people and she was welcomed into the fold. With his mother's blessing he asked Vivian to marry him and she did, that was November 22, 1948. All the relatives from Springhill drove up to see their girl get married. Bert built her a home of her own across from his parent's, and while he was anxious to start a family right away, Vivian wasn't, she held off for nearly two years but once they started coming, they started coming. First a girl and then another girl and then a boy and another girl. They took a break and then a boy and a girl and another girl, the house was full and full of love. With such a busy life Vivian was no longer alone, or so it seemed.
In 1970 Bert took sick and died and there she was, 43 years of age, with seven children and two grandchildren to take care of. Alone again. Times were tough and money was scarce. You learn to make due and that is what she did. As Mother to these children she did her best to instill in them her values and beliefs, encourage them to expand and explore all the options available and above all, thrive. And they did. While the Cantons all looked alike they all were unique and different individuals and no one knew that more than Vivian, or Mrs Canton was she was known to all.
To her, family was everything and she gave just that. She probably never realized that with every bit of praise that she would heap upon her children that she was assisting in developing some unique and interesting individuals. While most might say she lived through her children they might tell you that all are a reflection of her. I think that they all seem to compliment one another.
That lady's door was always open. Never has a child been turned away. She literally fed everybody in the neighborhood. A devoted mother! It was not unusual for her children to get up in the morning and see a stranger sleeping on the couch. When approached as to who she was the reply was always the same; "That's so and so, you know Susan's friend, her father and her had a fight and she needed a place to stay until he cooled off....."
When Mrs Canton retired, she sold her house in Amherst and moved to Dartmouth to live with her two youngest daughters, Anne and Ruth. Here it was a busy life, and a full one. She always had the kettle on for tea and whenever anybody dropped by she was happy to chat. A wealth of information, an entertaining soul and a laugh a minute Vivian was truly content, surrounded by those she loved.
Early in 1997 she was diagnosed with ALS or Lou Gerhig's disease. Things had not been quite right for a while, first she couldn't swallow properly and then she lost her voice. One by one she began to lose the use of her limbs. First a walker then a wheel chair and then bed. Not exactly a reward for someone who spent her life taking care of others. But it was through the devotion of her children that she was able to live at home until the end. At seventy-one years of age the bright eyed and ingenious woman said goodbye in her sleep. Her family was devastated at the loss of their companion, friend and mother. As she was laid to rest a stone was placed in her honour that said "Mother, we couldn't have loved you more". That pretty much sums up how we felt about her. And that ladies and gentlemen is our mother, Vivian Canton. (1927-1998)
-------------------------DAD
He was a quiet and tender man who never bothered anyone. He loved his parents and his family. He was a respected member of society and diligent in the workforce. Our mother and father were a modern couple who had lots of friends and acquaintances. Their's was a modest home that he had built with his own hands, and the two of them filled it with love and laughter and children.
To escape, he would find refuge in the basement or in our back yard. Bert always kept the yard neat and tidy. He himself was neat and tidy. In the summer he would plant a garden and we would all eat the food he grew. Our mother was a great cook and this made meal time so much more enjoyable. He sat at one end of the kitchen table and Mother sat at the other. The bigger kids sat on their own chairs, but us, little kids sat on the bench that he had fashioned along the wall. The more the merrier.
We, the Cantons, grew up on meat and potatoes. More potatoes than meat. It's not that he wasn't a good provider, it was the fact that we all were big eaters so that meant lots of potatoes, bread and gravy, just to fill us up. We all still love that stuff today.
I
can still see my father in the kitchen, sitting quietly and reading
the paper. He always sat beside the oil stove with the oven open
so's to warm the kitchen. The oil cloth on our kitchen floor had
been worn down to the black in front of the stove due to heavy
traffic. He would set his cup of tea on the edge of the stove
and that would keep it piping hot, just the way he liked it.
He smoked Export cigarettes, plain. Bert would then tell us what he had read in the paper and what his take on all that was going on in the world. We all found him to be an interesting man. When I think of those days I see his gentleness. None of us knew it was coming to an end. It wasn't until it was too late that we found out just how sick he was. Despite the fact that the situation appeared hopeless, none of us believed that he would die and leave us, but that's exactly what he did. Cancer didn't just kill him, it killed all of us. We were forced to face reality and it was not pleasant. Had it not been for our mother I could not imagine where any of us would be today.
Our mother and father were the type of people who communicated a lot. Whenever there was a problem they would sit and try to rationally discuss it. In the event that something made him mad his temper would raise and so would his voice. This frightened us kids. She, our mother, had to calm him down. And she did. As Bert got sicker and sicker he lost his temper more and more. If he was really upset he would sit and growl about nothing really. It has merit today because I find that I am doing the same thing. Little things tend to tick me off and so I am forced to think to my self "What would my mother say if she were here right now?" I try very hard to look on the sunny side but it is not always easy. Whenever Dad was having one of his episodes we were always urged to go outside and play'. This gave him the peace and quiet that he so badly required. At least it gave him quiet, I am not sure that he was ever at peace.
He had a great sense of humour and loved a good joke, but he liked physical humour just as much, so if you were to perform something amusing it might very well send him reeling with laughter. Our mother was humorous to a fault so that made it all the more fun. These, of course, were the good times.
Bert never stayed up late because he worked hard and was tired. Working in the hardware business involves a lot of lifting and lugging. It also meant a lot of hoisting and moving. At the end of the day a nap on the couch gave him the respite he required . He would ask one of us to pull the toe of his socks just to relieve the pressure in his sore feet. Our mother would always ask us to be quiet while he laid down and we did our best but it wasn't always easy. We were a rambunctious bunch. Still the man came home every night.
I believe that if they were alive today Mom and Dad would not be together and I am not completely sure why I feel this way. It all seems to me that he was very unhappy and nothing she could say or do would make a difference to him. We were a loud bunch and our father needed quiet. His escape was to a camp in the woods just outside of town. Now this was a great place. He would quite often take one of us (not all of us) out there to stay with him and his friend Ray Wood. This usually meant steak with fried mushrooms and lots of it.
Growing up in a large family one rarely gets to over indulge but when you went to the camp that meant that you were number one. He cooked this in a cast iron frying pan on a wood stove. Now you cannot get more rustic than that. The woods in Fenwick are thick and healthy. The trees are deeply green in the summer and beautifully colourful in the fall. Even the winter was beautiful. I love wildlife and there was plenty of that too. Quite often there were deer in the orchard or a jack rabbit or two, lots of squirrels and once even a raccoon. A little ways down from us was the sugar camp where the sap was collected and made into all kinds of goodies.
There never was a great amount to do there so you pretty much had to amuse yourself. It was so quiet and peaceful that all you could hear at night was the sound of a truck or two in the distance going down the road. In the daytime we would take a walk through the thicket and enjoy the freshness that was about. We had to carry well water back and forth and even that was a treat. What wasn't a treat was using an outhouse but hey, it never killed any one of us. I can remember being out there with Mom and Dad on one or two occasions but that was rare. As I said before it was his escape.
Our father withdrew into himself as he got sicker. This made life difficult for everyone. When two of his younger brothers urged him to go to the hospital because he had taken some bad spells, he refused. I see now that he was in a deep depression and should have been treated for that. Hopelessness allows things like cancer to grow and that's what took place. Since Bert was so private and kept it all inside, no one and I mean no one, knew what was going on. Our mother was a good singer and quite often would croon a tune to us. He quite often would ask our mother to sing to him. His favourite song was Teardrops In My Heart. It went something like this.
Written by: Vaughn Horton
YouŽll never know I cried , when I found out you lied
for I've been ridin', hidin' teardrops in my heart
My eyes dare not reveal , the way I really feel because I know IŽll cry my heart out if I start
*( though Im pretending , that I don't love you to be with you my darlin' , is my prayer)
But way down deep inside , I cant give up my pride so I'll keep on ridin',hidin' teardrops in my heart")
So there it is, a definite cry for help. A clinically depressed father who was never diagnosed. Here's why: There abounds in our family a sense of pride that quite often gets us into situations or keeps us out of them. Pride can be a powerful tool or the means to an end. I think you know what I mean when I say the walls we put up not only keep others out, it also locks us inside. This is unfortunately how I perceive his last year to be. This is a trait that all of us, his children, inherited. On occasion I too withdraw into myself and I have a little trouble getting myself out of it. All I can say is thank God for the Gillis in me. I think life is for the living and I intend to do so. I would like to reach a ripe old age without too many health problems. We'll see.....
Where do the years go? Remember when they talked about how the world was going to stand still when the clocks turned to the year 2000? Well, that was years ago and we are still here. Now that we have entered the new Millenium and all it has to offer, one can't help but reflect, and I am no
exception. Entering a new century means leaving behind an 
old one. In that century I said
hello to the world and goodbye to my parents and grandparents, the happy childhood
provided me, and scores of memories that go along with it. Where we are headed and
where we'll end up is anyone's guess. I just hope that the ride is a safe one, God Bless Us All
and Happy New Year......
On Home:
We, the Todd Cantons, recently purchased a home of our own. It took us a long time to make up our minds. Martha Ave is a quiet and well kept street and the whole neighborhood is nice. Making the move was a big decision but both of us feel it was the right one. I didn't know if I would enjoy the responsibility of being a home-owner but I must say, Sherry Canton has made that house our home. It took a little adjusting for the pets as well but as long as they are with us, they seem content. I have been told that since we have no children of our own, our pets have become our children.....hmmmm
Sherry Canton (I love this woman more than words could ever say here), my wife is a hardworking, diligent person. She works full-time as an Information Coordinator, and is presently working on a Bachelor's Degree at Mount Saint Vincent University and yet she has time to renovate and rebuild our entire house. Debbie Travis would be proud! I work at junior high level as an Educational Assistant and on weekends and summer I work as a waiter at Zellers Family Restaurant. I enjoy doing both because I am able to interact with some interesting individuals at school and then with the public in general at the restaurant. I believe that I am good at both jobs but I am also looking forward to the day I have one employer.
Bored Yet?
On Work:
Everyone needs a change and I am no exception. After fifteen years working at Kmart as a Cafeteria Manager, I decided to change careers and felt that I would be effective in the Human Services field so I
enrolled in a two year course (Child and Youth at Risk) at the NSCC here in Truro, and as a result have the job I do. (I didn't graduate with honours like Sherry did but my Instructor did
tell me that it was an honour just having me in class). I did a job placement in an elementary school working with children with emotional problems. When
those kids graduated into junior high, I went with them. Despite the fact that I am no one's father, I seem to be able to bond quite easily with kids and have a good
understanding of struggling young people. I did learn one thing in dealing with children and their families. The apple really doesn't fall far from the tree!
Despite the fact that Sherry and I have no children of our own I certainly have children in other capacities. Growing up in
the family that I did you were constantly surrounded by kids. Through the positive relationships formed with my nephews and neices, I have learned a lot, most of which
I put to use so many years later. I believe that attitude is everything and my life's philosophy is to 'add to a person's life
rather than take from it.'
That made this fan very happy. Anne has appeared nearly every year since, signing autographs and meeting fans, at the Anne Murray Centre in Springhill. I attend every signing and after interacting with Anne on these occasions, I respect her even more. I recently wrote a book about Anne Murray and my friendly obsession with her, called Me & Anne Murray: One Fan's Point of View. I think that I have captured how I feel about her and the impact that she has made on my life.
